Frist McCain Senate Immigration Plan - We Have Come For Your Culture
April 6, 2006 - Washington, DC - PipeLineNews.org - Bowing to pressure exerted by Hispanic rights groups, Senate Majority Leader Guillermo Frist and his sidekick Juan McCain today announced what they described as "un nuevo y muy bueno immigracion" package, making the twelve million illegal aliens currently residing in the United States eligible for citizenship.
Presidente Bush welcomed the Senate leadership's intent to sacrifice national sovereignty so that the larger goal of inclusiveness and multiculturalism might be preserved.
A White House spokesman speaking on condition on anonymity stated that El Presidente hopes to have the immigration bill on his desk for signature on Cinco De Mayo, which will now become a national day of celebration.
Plans are not fully set as we go to press, but a victory parade on Pennsylvania Avenue will be held after the bill's signing, featuring the theme "Mi Estados Unidos Es Su Estados Unidos."
Entertainment will be provided by the Hugo Chavez Mariachi Banditos.
Numerous regional and local celebrations are planned outside the joint
Mexican and American capitol soon to be renamed Washington District Federale.
Maria Santos-Fryberg, a Tucson Arizona piñata maker, has been flooded with orders for celebration party items, Ms Santos-Fryberg stated, " First and foremost are orders for George Bush piñatas, but we are also flooded with requests for Jose
McCain and Guillermo Frist piñatas and republican floral testimonial bouquets" "The locals are really taking to these guys," Santos-Fryberg beamed.
Santos-Fryberg is not alone in scrambling to fill orders. Rudolpho Munoz, owner of an El Paso Texas monument company has stopped importing and is now exporting his wares.
Prior to last month, Mr. Munoz was importing statuary from Mexico to his El Paso Texas location for distribution to clients such as city governments and park departments here in the United States.
However, reached today by PipeLineNews.org, Mr. Munoz gushed, "We are going the other way now. I have several orders on my desk right now for life-size garden figures of Guillermo Frist
and El Presidente Bush to be shipped to Mexican government officials who want to put up statues of American Republicans!"
Mr. Munoz continued, "We can't fill the orders fast enough, most of my Hispanic workers quit this morning when they announced this new legislation and I really can't blame them. These people will be citizens shortly, why should they do menial work? It's degrading. I'm not too worried though; others will surely come to take their places."
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